


is there somewhere

by sprinklednana



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ALWAYS READ THE TAGS AND NOTES, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I'll add tags as this progresses, Jaeno, Kissing, M/M, Makeup, Making Out, Mystery, Swearing, hyuckle, jeno is too sweet PROTECT HIM, lots of it bc they're teenagers, markren, nohyuck being bffs, nomin, rich kids au, sort of???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-07-04 05:05:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15834306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sprinklednana/pseuds/sprinklednana
Summary: The older boy looks at him then. Pink hair a mess, huge jacket draped across his back, long fingers extended, pretty eyelashes hitting his cheekbones. beautiful.If it wasn’t for the hand wrapped around his own, he’d think the boy was a dream.(or a boarding school x rich kids au with a twist)





	1. i'm sorry but i fell in love tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Always check the tags and notes please :) Markren are only mentioned in the first chap but there will be a tinny bit more of them in the future. Also if you haven't read any of my fics, then I have to tell you not to take things too literally. 
> 
> I started this fic because of the Arena Homme scans of nomin, Jesus Christ. Jeno looked like that rich perfect preppy school boy while Nana looked like that boy in your class who's a little weird and pretty in an eccentric and ethereal way. I couldn't get it out of my head.
> 
> Ya girl really started this while I just began a chaptered fic (the mafia x superpowers one) HNGG. This is most likely gonna end first, because I have this whole fic mapped out already from start to finish.
> 
> I worked a lot on this so I hope you like it!

 

They call Jeno a _prince_. Too handsome, too intelligent, _too good at hiding secrets_. 

 

He gazes like a king, talks like a man running for president, treats everyone like a friend. _The epitome of old money_.

 

There’s very little that could get past the prince’s perfect exterior, and that very little consists only of Huang Renjun and Lee Donghyuck. Well, that is, until Jeno met the pink haired boy.

 

Jeno met the pink haired boy during one of his night strolls. He remembers, it was on the 13th day of August at exactly 2:47 am.

 

It wasn’t unusual for Jeno to be wide awake at this time of the night, taking one of his strolls in the _very_ vast _very_ flashy garden of their academy. 

 

_Ahhh_ , St. Alban's, home of the wolves, boys with too much money and too little care.

 

It had been a long time since Jeno went on one of his walks by himself. Ever since the start of sophomore year, he’d either be with Renjun or Hyuck, or both.

 

When they were all together, they’d be laughing and bickering and fighting. They’d be making fun of all the teachers or spitting about the locals who give them dirty and hateful looks just for breathing through their _privileged_ noses.

 

But neither of his friends are with him now. 

 

Their oldest roommate sneaked out to see Mark in the nearby university to do, _whatever it is that boyfriends do_. And Hyuck was, well, _Hyuck_. He’s been too busy being the student council president the past few weeks and kept going on and on about how he was going to make this year’s yearbook the best there ever was, _he swears it on his $250,000 gucci bag._

 

Jeno left their room around three hours after their 10:00 pm curfew. Other than sneaking out at night, he’s a perfect role model who follows every single rule in the St. Alban’s handbook that in all honesty, nobody has ever really opened. Not that he needed to. Money was power in St. Alban’s, and there was little to nothing that was more powerful than Jeno.

 

He thought about staying in bed until Hyuck decided to appear but their shared room was gradually getting much hotter and so much more suffocating without any of his friends there to distract him.

 

He was mindlessly strolling for more than an hour when he sees him.

 

Tall and lanky. A boy still wearing his uniform, standing right in front of the school fountain. Pale as the moon. And Jeno observes as he comes closer to the boy, outrageously pink hair that should look silly, but Jeno thinks, it made the stranger look pretty. _Ethereal,_ even.

 

Against his better judgement, Jeno clears his throat, “Excuse me?”

 

The pale boy just continued to stare at the fountain, the moonlight making him look unreal.

 

_ He looks like a dream. _

 

Jeno inserts one hand in his pocket and pinches his leg through the fabric just to make sure he isn’t.

 

“Excuse me?” He tries again, louder this time, “Is everything alright?”

 

The other boy whips his head to the prince’s direction, startled.

 

A moment passes where the pink haired boy just stares at him, eyes filled with shock and confusion.

 

“Are you okay?” The raven haired boy steps closer, slowly, “What are you doing out here?”

 

As if just realizing where he was, the tall boy looks around, taking in the sight of the trees and plants that surrounds them. “I — I don’t _know_.”

 

The other’s voice was hoarse, like he hasn’t used it in a while. Or maybe he really _was_ sick.

 

“Are you okay? Do you want me to take you back to your room? Which building do you stay in?”

 

The pink haired boy’s frown deepens, “I — building? M-my room...”

 

And suddenly he gasps, eyes closing shut, hands coming up to his head. He tries to move forward, but he stumbles a little.

 

Jeno quickly acts before the other boy loses his footing. He closes the distance between them and gently places a steadying hand on the pink haired boy’s waist. “Hey, _hey_. I got you.”

 

The taller boy inhales loudly. “I — I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. Don’t apologize. Here, let’s sit for a sec okay?”

 

The slightly shorter boy slowly guides him towards the edge of the fountain and sits them both there.

 

“Will you be okay if I take my hand off or do you want me to keep it here?” Jeno gently taps the side of the other’s waist.

 

_ Ever so polite.  _

 

_A prince in a sea of boys_ , Hyuck once said. But Renjun said, _no. A boy among a bunch of princes_. 

 

The pink haired boy looks at him, “It’s okay — thank you..... Je — Jeno? Jeno Lee?”

 

Jeno smiled slightly at the mention of his name, trying to hide the fact that he was now racking his brain for a time that he has ever met or talked to the boy in front of him now.

 

But he couldn’t get a hold of a memory. He wasn’t particularly surprised. He just knows he has never talked to the pink haired boy before. He _knows_ he’d remember if he did.

 

“I don’t think we’ve met before. What’s your name?”

 

The other boy tilts his head, eyes still on Jeno. “No, we haven’t. I’m from a year below... I — I’m... Nana.”

 

Jeno was known by every single student in St. Alban’s, but he barely knows the people from his own classes. Much less the students he doesn’t have classes with.

 

“ _Nana_.” The raven haired boy tests it on his tongue, smiling when the taller boy nods once, “Well, Nana, we can rest here for a while then I can walk you to your room once you’re feeling better.”

 

“Thank you.” Then the younger boy tilts his head in confusion, “What are _you_ doing here?”

 

Jeno thinks. 

 

Then he decides to be partly truthful about it. He knows it’s not smart, but he feels a strange sense of comfort being beside the other boy.

 

What’s a _junior_ gonna do to him anyway.

 

“Couldn’t sleep.”

 

The pink haired boy hums, “Won’t your roommates be worried? Do they know you’re here?”

 

The older boy shakes his head a little, “Nah.” He doesn’t elaborate further.

 

From the corner of his eye, he sees the younger tilt his chin up to look at the sky. 

 

Jeno has seen the sky with more stars in it. _brighter_. But there was an uncanny feeling of both longing and peace in seeing the sky with more clouds than stars in it.

 

“It’s really beautiful, isn’t it?” The younger breathes out, a bright smile forming on his face. And _oh_.

 

_Oh_.

 

The younger looks at him for a second before looking back at the sky again, “Is that why you come _here_?”

 

For a millisecond, breathless, Jeno feels his heart clench. “Y-yeah.”

 

“I understand.” He keeps the bright smile on his face, his eyes reflecting the stars.

 

“Why did _you_ come _here_?”

 

The younger boy’s smile drops instantly and Jeno stops himself from gasping. _Where did it go?_

 

The younger frowns, opening his mouth as if to speak, but no answer comes out. “ _Ah_.” He inhales loudly once again, pressing a hand against his temple.

 

“ _Hey_ , hey.” The older says, gently prying the other’s hand off his head, “You shouldn’t be out here. You’re not okay, _god_ , your hands are so cold. Here take this.” 

 

Jeno takes his hand off the other’s waist for a moment to shrug off his navy blue jacket, _Lee 23_ on the back, and places it on the younger’s shoulder.

 

The pink haired boy’s eyes widen as the scent of St. Alban’s prince engulfs him. “T-Thank you.”

 

Jeno smiles at him, softly, eyes turning into crescents. He fixes his jacket around the younger, making sure to cover his arms and back.

 

“You shouldn’t be out so late, especially when you’re sick like this.” Jeno playfully frowns, placing one palm against the younger’s forehead and his other palm against his own. 

 

He keeps them there for a beat, then another, before tilting his head in confusion, “I’m hotter than you though. Even your forehead’s cold.”

 

“I — I don’t know. My head’s feeling really fuzzy right now. I... I don’t even remember coming here. It’s so _weird_.”

 

“Do you come here often? I usually come here with my friends and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen you.”

 

“I... I don’t think so. I really don’t know. My head aches just thinking about it.”

 

Jeno hums, a hand back on the other’s waist, “ _Peculiar_. But since it make your pretty little head ache, let’s not think too much then.”

 

The younger boy giggles, “I’m actually feeling fine? I feel like I’m floating and my head just hurts when I think too much, but other than that I think I’m okay.”

 

The raven haired boy chuckles, “You feel like you’re floating? Nana, I don’t think you’re fine at all.”

 

“Oh, shut.” And to Jeno’s surprise, the other suddenly rises to his feet, standing on the edge of the fountain. “See, I’m perfectly fine.”

 

“ _Hey_! Hey!” Jeno scrambles up, placing both of his hands on the other’s knees. “ _Sit down_! You’re gonna fall and hurt yourself.”

 

“No, I won’t, Jeno.” He looks down at the older and smiles that _really really bright smile of his_. “That’s what you’re here for.”

 

_There it was_.

 

The raven haired boy feels warmth blossoms in his chest and lets go of the younger's knees. Instead, he offers a hand, palm up.

 

The younger boy accepts. 

 

Hand in hand, Nana tip toes around the fountain as the older boy makes sure he doesn’t fall.

 

Soft laughter can be heard in the gardens, and for a bizarre second, Jeno wonders if it is his.

 

He doesn't remember how many time they've rounded the fountains. All he remembers is the tiredness on the back of his knees, the ache in the corners of his mouth from smiling too long, and the weight of the hand in his hold. 

 

The pink haired boy halts to a stop and leans in closer to the water, hand outstretched.

 

He sighs as the tips of his fingers touches the cold water. 

 

The older boy looks at him then. Pink hair a mess, huge jacket draped across his back, long fingers extended, pretty eyelashes hitting his cheekbones. _beautiful._

 

If it wasn’t for the hand wrapped around his own, he’d think the boy was a dream.

 

“The water’s cold too, see,” The younger boy leans back and faces the other, encasing Jeno’s hand with both of his.

 

The older boy feels wetness running through his fingers. He shivers.

 

The pink haired boy looks in his eyes. 

 

He looks back.

 

The raven haired boy suddenly gets a flashback of that one time Renjun and Donghyuck forced him to sneak out. Mark took them all on his beat up truck and drove them to some unnamed falls in the middle of nowhere. They stood on a cliff several feet off the body of water, seconds a way from jumping. Mark yelled encouragements at them from below. Hyuck held his hand. Renjun smiled at him reassuringly. He doesn't completely understand, but the same feeling he had then was bubbling up his chest this exact moment.

 

He doesn't remember how long they hold each other's gazes.

 

There was a certain unexplainable look the younger boy was giving him, and Jeno wonders if he has been looking at the other boy in the same way.

 

"I - I think you should go back, Nana. Which building do you stay in?"

 

The pink haired boy just smiles softly and places his hands on the other's shoulders, "Help me down, please."

 

Jeno complies, placing his hands on the other's hips and helps the other to the ground. 

 

"Thanks for tonight. I like to think I'm more fun to be with, but my head's a little weird right now."

 

"S'alright." The older boy immediately assures, "Tonight was nice."

 

" _Tonight was nice._ " Nana mocks him good naturedly, "I feel like I have to go now."

 

And to Jeno's surprise, the younger boy leans down a little to peck him on his cheekbone. He blanks. 

 

The older boy feels heat rise up to his cheeks, and like the real fool nobody except Hyuck and Renjun knows he is, he covers it up by turning his back on the younger and faces the different buildings the students of St. Alban's stay in. "So which building do you stay in again?" He scratches the back of his neck, "I'm actually in St. Benedict's, are you from there too? I could still walk you to your room if you aren't though, I'm sure it's not that-"

 

The raven haired boy turns back towards his companion, but he is faced with nothing but the moon and the stars and the trees and the plants.  _Pretty boy nowhere to be seen._

"Nana?" He turns his head around, looking for the pink haired boy, "Nana? Where'd you go?"

 

But no one answered back, and Jeno was left alone.

 

His feet stay planted on ground for a beat. and a second. and another.

 

The prince of St. Alban's walks towards his room that night with only the absence of his jacket and the warmth on his cheekbone as proof that the pink haired boy wasn't a dream. 

 

 

 

Donghyuck welcomes him to there room with a raised eyebrow, "You look like you've seen a ghost."

 

Jeno shakes his head and laughs at his friend, but in the back of his mind he questions, _has he?_

 


	2. i try to refrain but you're stuck in my brain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Jeno, Renjun, and Donghyuck's room. (August 14, 4:58 AM)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to update on a later date but it got too long and weird on my drafts so I decided to divide it into two chapters gfbnkh here is the first part (it's a bit shorter than all the other's)
> 
> Also please tell me what you think about this!
> 
> I'm a bit worried if I'm missing any warnings or tags, if you think I'm missing any please tell me! <3

 

Jeno wakes up on August 14 at exactly 4:58 am from the sound of shuffling inside their room.

 

The _prince_ squints his eyes, immediately searching for his glasses on the bedside table.

 

He groans as he puts on his thin framed round glassses, “Why are you up so early?”

 

Donghyuck was already sat upright on top of his bed, body framed by his pink silk pajamas and surrounded by what seems to be really large books.

 

While their oldest roommate was running around their room, already dressed in his uniform, searching for something.

 

“Injun?”

 

The older boy hums noncommitally.

 

“Why are you up so early? Don’t we have first class together?” Jeno was pretty sure their first class doesn’t start until 8:00, which means he has about two more hours to sleep.

 

The small boy didn’t even spare him a glance, muttering, “Yeah but I have to go to Jisung’s first.”

 

“Jisung?” It was their sun kissed friend’s turn to ask, “Isn’t that the freshman? Your boy’s brother?”

 

“He’s a _junior_ , Hyuck. And yeah apparently he and his friend are having a breakdown right now and Mark can’t come because of some college shit he can’t get out of... I’m gonna make sure the kid is doing okay so Mark can stop pulling his hair out.”

 

“A breakdown? I don’t remember junior year being that hard.” Donghyuck jokes, but there was a slight frown on his normally relaxed face.

 

Renjun sighs, “Do you remember that news about an underclassmen getting into a car accident?”

 

Both of the boys were taken aback from the sudden mention of the tragedy.

 

They definitely remember.

 

The kid was apparently the eldest son of one of the most powerful businessmen in all of Asia, possibly in the whole world too. Whispers between the students say that the boy began to model for different brands the moment he learned how to walk.

 

There were a lot of mixed reactions from the accident, but what Jeno remembers most of all was the glee in some of the local’s words. _Serves those stuck up brats right_ , they said.

 

His throat burned at the memory.

 

“Yeah,” the raven haired boy began to say, “What about it?”

 

The oldest boy closed his eyes, like explaining it physically hurt him, “His car broke down or something and he hasn’t woken up in six months. Jisung and that other small kid was best friends with him. The one that got into the accident.”

 

Jeno felt a chill crawling up his spine, “What happened? Why are they...”

 

“The kid’s parents called them and said that he opened his eyes for like a second on the day of his birthday. Jisung called Mark and he and that other small guy apparently has been crying non stop again so I’m gonna go and check on the kids. You know how Mark is.”

 

There was a pregnant pause before the sun kissed boy exhales loudly, “That’s pretty... I actually almost forgot about that kid. I didn’t know he was in a coma.”

 

“I didn’t know too.” Renjun shakes his head and sighs, “I remember him I think, I must have seen him with Mark before... I don’t know. He’s the tall one from what I can recall. Pretty eyes. Perfect teeth, really really bright smile.”

 

There was a certain coldness that wrapped around the three boys in the room. There was plenty of things the other students of St. Alban’s called them. One of those was the _Kings of this school_ , _powerful_ and _uncaring_. _The holy trinity_. _untouchable_.

 

But the three of them knew, they were mere boys.

 

“I — I hope he gets well soon.” The raven haired boy says softly.

 

Renjun gently smiles at his friends, “I hope so too.”

 

The atmosphere was broken by the sudden ringing from the pocket of Renjun’s uniform.

 

The small boy startles, before answering his phone, “ _Mark? Baby.... No, I haven’t. I’m on my way.... yeah.... I’ll make sure they eat something.... Stop worrying so much... I’ve got this... Okay.... Good luck... I love you more, baby... I gotta go now_.”

 

And with a swift “I’ll see you guys later”, Renjun was gone.

 

Jeno and Donghyuck’s eyes meet and for a second, there was silence.

 

“What are _you_ doing awake?” The raven haired boy asks, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

 

Donghyuck thinks for a moment, before taking the bite, “Can’t you see, moon eyes? I’m doing my research on the previous yearbooks. When I _say_ I’m going to make this year’s the best, I _mean_ it. You really think I’m going to give up my gucci bag that easily?”

 

 

 

 

 

Jeno didn’t hear from the pink haired boy on the day after they met, or the day after that. One day turned into two then into three then into four then into five.

 

Sometimes he still asks himself if he really met the eccentric boy that night in the gardens, and the only answer he got came in the form of his varsity jacket hanging on the door knob of their room, days later. _No note or any sign of the pink haired boy._

 

Days turned into a week and he began to doubt if he’d ever find the boy again.

 

On August 24 at exactly 4:56 pm, when Renjun was out doing whatever it is Renjuns do and Hyuck was in a student council meeting that lasted for hours, he realized that he didn’t have to find the eccentric boy.

 

Because as he got a knock that woke him up from his nap, he opens the door to a certain pink haired boy in St. Alban’s uniform.

 

There he stood, all bright eyes and pretty smiles. The raven haired boy had to pinch himself once again, just to make sure that the junior in front of him wasn’t actually _glowing_.

 

“Hello, Jeno Lee.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Please do comment what you think about this!
> 
> You can also talk to me on twt or cc, I'm @sprinklednana in both! <3
> 
> Since I divided this part, all fluff is in the next <3


	3. just wanna feel your lips against my skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> moon eyes and pretty smiles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I've officially survived my first week of uni (sort of, my classes got suspended for the next two days. ph friends, stay safe please <3)
> 
> Also this part is greatly inspired by Noah Czerny from The Raven Cycle Series. Jaemin's whole character is greatly inspired by Noah tbh. I'd give Noah my kidneys btw.
> 
> Anyway, this chapter is longer, please do tell me what you think about it! <3

 

It’s been exactly three whole minutes since Nana entered his room. Three whole minutes since the pink haired boy casually said _“Hello, Jeno Lee.”_ as if he hadn’t basically disappeared for more than a week. Three whole minutes since the older boy started to wordlessly stare at him.

 

Jeno takes a really good look at the younger boy. He noticed how the other’s hair seemed lighter now, more white than it is pink. How he seemed even paler under the lights of Jeno’s room.

 

“Are you okay, Jeno Lee?”

 

The raven haired boy shakes his head lightly, “Uh. Y-yeah, sorry. Feel at home. My roommates won’t be back for hours.”

 

 

 

 

And that’s how the prince of St. Alban’s found himself on his bed, sitting side by side with a boy smiling brightly, both of their backs resting on the headboard. Hyuck’s old vinyl was playing softly inside the room, making Jeno’s story sound like a song.

 

“-it was crazy, Injun’s not really the type to lose control you know? He’s always been the most kept together among the three of us. I think something happened between him and his boyfriend that night.”

 

The younger boy hums, “That sounds… a little scary. You must’ve been nervous.”

 

“Nah,” The raven haired boy thinks for a moment before chuckling, “Hyuck was cackling so hard, I was _more_ worried over him busting a lung than anything. Besides, Injun is… He’s weirdly unpredictable. Kind of like… I don’t know, an amphibian? But you know, human. He means well though.”

 

Nana giggles, “Your friends seem nice.”

 

The older shakes his head, “ _Yeah_ … yeah. It’s weird talking about them like this, like they’re new, somehow. I just… I’ve never known a time before Hyuck. He was just always there. He’s more of a family to me than my own actual family. Probably has more baby pictures of me saved in his phone than all of my relatives combined.”

 

Nana laughs, hearty but delicate still. The older boy wanted to catch the sound of it with his bare hands and enclose it in a jar. _For his to keep_. “And what about your Injun?”

 

“Hyuck and I became roommates with him during freshmen year. He just became part of us after that I guess. It felt natural… to have him with us. He was really annoyed by us at first, Hyuck mostly, and me by extension. And then maybe he just figured we’d probably die without any sort of guidance. He basically adopted Hyuck and I.”

 

“How noble of him,” The pink haired boy rests the back of his head on the wall, closing his eyes. “Reminds me of my friends. I feel like I adopted them too.”

 

Jeno turns his head to sneak a look at him.

 

In the remnants of his sleepy haze, the older boy thinks Nana looks like he’s underwater. Hair flowing, movements slow. He always looks like he’s covered in a thin layer of water. Always looks like he’s _floating._

The older boy clears his throat, “Tell me about them.”

 

Nana smiles, like it was the most natural thing to do before speaking about his friends. _muscle memory_. “I have two of them too. Lele… he’s precious. He’s still struggling with his english, but he’s pretty confident about it. The bravest kid I know, honestly. Sungie’s perfect. He’s my favorite person in the whole entire world. I’d give him my arm, or my everything. Whatever he wants.”

 

The older boy whistles, “You sound like you love them a lot.”

 

“ _They_ are the ones who taught me how to love in the first place.” The pink haired boy opens his eyes, and turns to him.

 

They were facing each other now, inches apart.

 

_A pause. And then another._

 

“I’m sure they love you too.”

 

“They do. Did you know - Lele and Sungie used to talk to each other in two different languages. Lele talks to him in mandarin and Sungie talks to him in english. They’re so _stupid_ , it was a whole mess… But somewhere along the way, they began to understand each other and -  I’m sorry does this still make sense?”

 

Jeno chuckles, “Yeah, go on.”

 

“and I guess that’s how our whole relationship worked you know. Lele and Sungie… they try to make each other understand in their own weird way. And I…”

 

“And _you_?”

 

“I just love them through it. When Lele spoke mandarin and Sungie spoke english, I kept quiet.”

 

“Do you think they know?” Jeno asks, a whisper.

 

“That I love them?” When the older boy just nods, he continues, “Yes. The first mandarin words I learned was _I’m sorry_ , _thank you_ , and _I love you_. For weeks, that was mostly what I used to say to both of them.”

 

“You’re so…” The older boy tries find a word that encapsulates the pink haired boy, but comes up with nothing. He doubts there is anything existing that could encapsulate the other. “something… You’re really something, Nana.”

 

“I don’t understand what you mean but I hope it wasn’t a – hey, what’s that?”

 

“What?” The older immediately turns towards the object of the younger’s interest. Which happens to be a _pretty little velvet thing_ on Hyuck’s side of the room. “Oh… that’s Hyuck’s.”

 

The pink haired boy stares at it with wide eyes, “What is it?”

 

“I think it’s a sprinkles thing? Hyuck was going on and on about a make up thing being launched two months ago. By _Belle Rose_? I think?”

 

Nana frowns, “ _Belle Rose_? I usually order their… I don’t remember—”

 

The older boy’s head is tilted in confusion. “A face shiner? Glitter powder stuff? Is that what you call it?”

 

The pink hair boy giggles at the sight, frown instantly dropping, “Yes Jeno Lee, glitter. Specifically for the face.”

 

Jeno’s frown deepens, “Yeah, Hyuck is really into that stuff. Do you wanna see it?”

 

“Are we allowed to touch his things? I don’t wanna intrude—”

 

But before Nana even finishes his sentence, the older boy was already up on his feet, grabbing the _face shiner thing_ encased in a small and round velvet holder. “Hyuck won’t mind, it was released two months ago anyway. He usually loses interest of things after a few weeks.”

 

The older boy settles back in front of the other, both palms holding the thing between them. _Like an offering._

 

“We don’t have to, I don’t really feel comfortable just touching someone else’s things... what if he gets mad?”

 

The raven haired boy just grins, moon eyes and all. “Cute,” he mutters, taking one of Nana’s hands and placing the object on top of it, fishing his phone out of his pocket and dialing _Satan_.

 

He puts it on speaker once the line is picked up, “Hyuck.”

 

_“Yes, bitch? I’m in the middle of a meeting, this better be good.”_

Jeno chuckles, “Can I borrow you face glitter thing? the one in the velvet round stuff?”

_“The Belle Rose one? The fuck are you even asking for? I’ll buy you twenty if you want more. Wait when did you even get into make up? Who are you and what did you do to my child?”_

He rolls his eyes and the pink haired boy suppresses a laugh, a hand against his mouth, “No. Not for me… Remember that friend I was out with the other night? Well he’s here right now. He’s nervous about touching your things without your permission.”

 

_“Oh, lover boy?”_ Jeno instantly shifts his eyes to Nana’s, heat rising up his cheeks, _“That’s cute, hmmm… sure… what if I end this meeting right now and go back—”_

 

“Don’t even think about it, Donghyuck.”

 

_“Oh, I’m Donghyuck now. Rawr. You’re lucky I’m too busy carrying the entire St. Alban’s on my delicate back, or else. I can hear one of the underclassmen calling for me, just who the hell does this bitch think he is? Fucking fine! – I need to go baby, I’ll talk to you later.”_ And the line went dead.

 

Jeno sighs, pocketing his phone, “Sorry about that, Hyuck’s a little—”

 

The pink haired boy doesn’t let him finish, stopping him with an “It’s okay, I think he’s... nice.”

 

The older raises his eyebrows, “That’s a first… Go on then, take a look.”

 

Nana hums, eyes dropping down to the object.

 

Gently, he lifts up the lid and smiles at it with reverence. “ _Wow_.”

 

Jeno looks at the wonder in his eyes, “ _Yeah_.”

 

_“It’s beautiful.”_

“ _Yeah_ … I don’t really know how to use it, but you can – if you want.”

 

Slowly, Nana takes two fingers and dips it inside. He lifts it up to his face, and runs his fingers just below his right eye. “What do you think? Can you see it?”

 

The pink haired boy tilts his head in a way where the part of his face with the glitter is turned towards Jeno, and the light from above is hitting it just _perfectly_. “It’s… It’s really pretty.”

 

“You wanna try it, Jeno Lee?”

 

For a moment, they just look into each other’s eyes, unknowing and knowing at the same time. It feels like diving from a cliff once again.

 

The older copies the other boy’s actions. Slowly running his fingers inside, feeling its powder-like texture. Gingerly, Jeno takes his fingers and hovers it millimeters from the other side of the younger’s face. “May I?”

 

“Yeah.” The pink haired boy whispers.

 

Only the soft hum of the classical music playing in the background fills the silence in the room. The raven haired boy tries his best to keep his eyes on his own fingers, as he lightly spreads the powder across the younger’s cheekbones. “ _There._ ”

 

“How does it look?”

 

The glitter on his cheekbones makes it look like his cheek was covered with a bright, almost lavender, shine. He sees blue and green and yellow and silver. It reminds Jeno of the inside of Renjun’s most treasured snow globe.

 

The older hears the other’s question but doesn’t answer, instead what he blurts out is a query of his own. One that has been burning inside him since that night in the garden. “What’s your name, Nana? Your real name.”

 

_A pause. And then another._

“Jaemin Na, Jeno Lee. My name is Jaemin Na.”

 

A soft upward curl begins its existence in the corners of the older’s lips. “ _Jaemin._ ”

 

_A pause. And then another._

“Yes?”

 

“ _Jaemin_.” He breathes out, “Beautiful. _Just like you_.”

 

The younger replies with the biggest brightest smile.

 

“This is gonna sound really stupid, and I would never do this to anyone else… but you— your—” Jeno sighs and shuts his eyes close. _“Can I kiss you?_ ”

 

_A pause. And then another._

 

The older boy hears shuffling and the creaking of a bed. He feels cold hands touch each side of his neck, and a forehead rest against his own.

 

The raven haired boy opens his eyes just in time to witness the enamoring image of Jaemin’s long eyelashes fluttering close, touching his cheekbones.

 

“Yes,” The younger boy almost sighs out, barely above a whisper, “ _please_.”

 

Slowly, with the utmost care, the older boy leans forward to give the beautiful boy a soft and gentle kiss.

 

Jaemin’s lips were cold against his own.

 

He will recall little of that night, of how long they were together, of the sequence of their actions, but he will remember this; chapped lips on top of his own. on his forehead. on his jaw. on his neck; of cold fingers on his nape. on his cheek. running through his hair. sneaking through the back of his shirt; of a boy who was both a dream and a wonder.

 

Despite the chill, he feels as if the pink haired boy struck a match within him.

 

_Jeno burned._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so so much for reading my fic, please do leave comments bc I really really love those! <3
> 
> You can also talk to me on cc or twitter, I'm @sprinklednana on both <3


	4. is there somewhere you can meet me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> roommates and yearbooks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was longer than I intended. Also, this chapter is mostly nohyuck being bffs :-)
> 
> I really hope you like this chapter, tell me what you think about it <3

 

“ _Wake up, bitch_. I wouldn’t have bothered you but your resting your head in an awkward angle… wouldn’t want _the prince_ to not be able to turn his neck when his people greet him.”

 

Jeno lifts his head groggily, unable to make out anything in the room besides the sun kissed face hovering above him. Feeling oddly touched, he rasps out, “Aww, thanks man.”

 

“Yeah, sure. Why were you sleeping like that anyway?”

 

Blinking the sleep away one second, then sitting up straight the next, Jeno turns his head from side to side. “ _Where’s Nana?”_

 

“Who?”

 

“Nana, Hyuck! The boy I was with in the garden! The boy who came here last night! Pink hair, really really pretty? Not ringing any bells?”

 

The sun kissed boy gives him a look he couldn’t quite understand, “The only really really pretty boy I remember being in our room is _me_.”

 

The raven haired boy frowns, “You didn’t see him? What time is it?”

 

“Nah, dude.” Hyuck steps back and began shuffling inside the room. “I got here like ten minutes ago, no pretty pink haired boys, just you and your awkwardly angled neck.”

 

He tilts his head in confusion, feeling a strange lump right below his jaw, a little frown forming on his face.

 

He _knew_ last night was real. He felt the weight of a head resting on his chest, of pink hair tickling the tip of his nose, of cold palms resting right below his ribs. of a soft _good night jeno lee_ pressed against his neck.

 

They spent hours and hours in a tangle of limbs, in a continuous dancing of lips, in a gentle wandering of hands.

 

And after that they laid down on top of Jeno’s sheets _, laughing and touching and smiling and kissing and talking and holding and watching._

 

Jeno shouldn’t be surprised, really, since this seemed like a recurring theme when it came to the pretty eyed boy. He shouldn’t have hoped for him to be there when he wakes up, _it only left a hollow feeling in his chest._

 

“What time is it anyways?” The older boy mutters, reaching out for his glasses on the bedside table.

 

“It’s like –” Hyuck glances at the rolex watch hanging on his thin wrist, “half past three am. Where’s Injunnie anyway?”

 

The raven haired boy blinks repeatedly to adjust to his glasses, “Injunnie texted last night, he stayed with Jisung. And _three?_ Where have you been? More importantly, why are you _still_ awake?”

 

The younger sighs, making his way to Jeno’s bed, immediately latching himself to the older’s arm. “I’ve been up all night looking for old yearbooks in the basement. For a school so rich, you’d think St. Alban’s would have better housekeeping. I _swear_ , Jen, something died in that basement.”

 

Jeno chuckles, roughly messing up the younger’s hair, “Quit being dramatic. And sleep, you idiot, you’re gonna get yourself sick.”

 

“Bad bitches don’t get sick,” Hyuck defends, “And I’m not that sleepy anyway, my cycle’s messed up.” He sighs, lifting his leg up and unceremoniously lets it fall down across the older boy’s stomach. “I just wanted to lay down, my back’s killing me.”

 

They stay like that for a moment, just breathing _in and out and in and out_. Jeno closes his eyes, and for a moment he almost forgets that they were two of the most powerful students in the most powerful academy, sleeping in the most popular room in St. Alban’s Benedict building. For a moment they’re just Jeno and Hyuck, like they were years and years ago. Just two boys who laid in bed when they got too tired from playing around all day, instead of two boys who weren’t allowed to break character in public no matter how tired they got.

 

“I miss this.” The sun kissed boy whispers.

 

“You’re too busy being Mr. President to spare your best friend some time.” The raven haired boy teases.

 

“Shut up, _fucker_. You know I’d drop all this for you. _You’re_ the one who’s too busy with lover boy. What’s his name anyway? There’s no way in hell his real name is Nana.”

 

Jeno smiles, eyes unknowingly turning into crescents as he reaches his fingers out to run it through the younger’s hair “Jaemin Na. _Jaemin_. Cute isn’t it?”

 

“Okay, okay. That’s enough, Your whippedness is reeking and like I’m happy for you but it’s fucking suffocating.”

 

The older boy’s laughter bursts out, “ _Shut up_. And don’t pretend I don’t see how you look at that little Chinese boy from choir. You don’t have to be shy, Hyuckie.” A shit eating grin forms on his face as he continues, “Although it’s a little surprising that the cold strict heartless president would go for some overexcited bunny of a boy with… what was that you keep mumbling about in your sleep? Whisker dimples was it, Hyuckie? That’s cute—”

 

“Ah!” Jeno screeches, immediately rubbing his sides where the younger boy has just mercilessly pinched him.

 

“I think that’s _enough_ , moon eyes.” The sun kissed boy huffs, “ _Anyway._ Tell me about pretty boy. Gotta make sure he isn’t gonna try and steal you away from Injunnie and I.”

 

The older boy sighs, eyes still closed while a soft smile plays on his lips. “He won’t. He has a Hyuck and Injunnie too. Well, more like he has his own Hyuck and Jeno.”

 

“Oh? So he has his own adoptive children? Cute. Very noble of him.”

 

Jeno couldn’t help but let out little giggles, “He said the same thing about Injun.”

 

For a few minutes, only Hyuck’s humming of _Can you feel the love tonight_ wafts through the room.

 

“You really like lover boy, huh?”

 

Jeno grunts back, “I think I do. We just met, but he’s… I don’t know. Am I being stupid? For liking him so much even if we just met?”

 

The other boy lifts his head a little so their eyes could meet, “Nah, Jen. You’re good.” He settles his head back against the older’s arm, sniffing loudly, “Besides, even perfect _perfect_ Mark Lee and cold cold _cold_ Renjun Huang were all over each other when they first met.”

 

The older boy shudders, “Definitely not a memory I’m fond of recalling.”

 

“Tell me about it.” Then in a tone that Donghyuck Lee was _very_ famous for, he teases, “So, tell me Lee, is lover boy a good kisser?”

 

Jeno groans, “We just _met._ ”

 

“Yeah, and there’s a red mark the size of fucking Russia right above your collarbone. You were saying?”

 

The sound of slapping echoes through the room, followed by a loud cackle from a certain sun kissed boy.

 

 

 

 

 

Hours later, when they’ve woken up from their _short_ “nap”, the raven haired boy was sitting in front of their shared desk, doing some light reading on Philippine mythologies. Hyuck had scoffed at him when he said he’s only doing it for _fun_.

 

“Oh I remember this kid! Yukhei Wong.” Hyuck giggles, “He was the one who was _all over_ Mark during his senior year. Injun was gonna pop a vessel because of him, god, that was golden.”

 

Jeno merely hums. This was around the thirtieth comment coming from sun kissed boy as he skims through the past yearbooks he collected from the basement.

 

They both hear the door open as their third roommate enters their room, “Ah, speak of the devil and he shall appear.”

 

Renjun side-eyes the youngest boy, “What do you mean?”

 

“Nothing, _babe_. How’s our little freshman boy?”

 

Their oldest roommate rolls his eyes, “ _Junior_ , Hyuck. And he’s like a whole head taller than you.”

 

“Nonsense, nobody’s a head taller than me.” The oldest boy was about to differ but the sun kissed boy cuts him of instantly, “ _So_ how is he?”

 

“They’re doing better. He and that _little Chinese boy_ are doing better. I’m sure you’d like to know about that too.”

 

“Wait,” Jeno’s eyes decided to make an appearance, “whisker dimples is Jisung’s friend? Why didn’t I—”

 

“Good to hear,” Hyuck almost yells, immediately turning his eyes back to the yearbook in his hands. Not bothering to comment on Renjun’s statement, he couldn’t lie to them anyway, they already know he was relieved.

 

“ _Anyway._ Jaehyun Jung. Oh I remember him,” The youngest boy sighs dreamily, “Graduated year 2015 with honors and Athlete of the Year. Beautiful _, beautiful_ Jaehyun Jung.”

 

The raven haired boy meets the Chinese boy’s eyes across the room, a meaningful look passing between them before they turn away with small smiles.

 

“How’s Mark by the way?” Jeno asks, partly out of instinctual politeness but mostly because he was genuinely curious. Mark wasn’t as close to him as Hyuck and Injun were, but he’s the only person outside their trio that he considers an actual friend.

 

Mark cared for all of them, and he cared for the older boy too.

 

“He’s… I don’t know. College is shit, but Mark’s… _Mark_ , you know. He can do it. He was doing well, before the whole Jisung and his friends fiasco happened. The kids are getting better. He’ll be okay.”

 

“That’s good.” Jeno nods, even though he’s not sure if the older boy is looking at him.

 

Mark Lee was easily one of the best students St. Alban’s has ever had. He wasn’t a naturally born genius like some of them, nor was he naturally born _rich._ But he was the most hardworking student this institution has ever had, and it paid off well for him.

 

The students weren’t merciful on him during his stay, hanging his humble social standing above his head from the moment he has first stepped foot inside the building. It got better when he and Injun started dating, because the small boy would _absolutely not_ tolerate any type of shit thrown at his lover.

 

The three of them had grown very protective over the oldest, despite him being a year higher than all of them. Surprisingly, it was Donghyuck that was the loudest and most aggressive when it came to defending the older, growing a soft spot for the awkwardly wide-eyed boy.

 

The sun kissed president was loyal only to a few, but when he was, he was _fiercely_ so.

 

Jeno’s train of thought was stopped when Donghyuck questions, “Hey, Jen… What did you say your lover boy’s name was?”

 

“Jaemin Na, Hyuck. How many times do I need to tell you before you remember?”

 

The oldest in the room immediately whips his head towards the raven haired boy, “Wait, _Jaemin_?”

 

Jeno looks at him weirdly, muttering “yeah.”

 

Donghyuck brightens, “Oh is he this one? I know that I _know_ him, I just can’t remember how.”

 

The raven haired boy gets up and take a seat next to the sun kissed boy, eyes immediately zooming to where the other was pointing.

 

And there he was. _Jaemin Na. Freshman._ He looked younger in the picture, with black unruly hair, but it was definitely him.

 

A small smile appears in Jeno’s face, “Yeah, this is him. He looks really cute here, really young too. He has pink hair now. A lot paler, a little thinner too.”

 

“Well no wonder you’re whipped as fuck… I’m sure I _know_ him. He’s really pretty, like really _really_ pretty. I feel threatened.”

 

“Jaemin. _Jaemin Na_.” Jeno’s chuckles died down as he noticed Renjun slowly going over to sit next to them, a frown on his delicate face. “Can I see?”

 

“What’s wrong, Injunnie?” The sun kissed boy questions, both he and the raven haired boy noticed how the oldest’s fingers started to shake as he stares intently at the page.

 

“ _Jen._ I promise I’m not shitting you right now, I swear – I swear it on Mark, even – but I… I’m one hundred present sure this is Jisung’s friend. I’ve seen them together before, with whisker dimples. I’m sure it’s him.”

 

He lets out a shaky breath before he continues.

 

“Pretty eyes. Perfect teeth. Really _really_ bright smile. _The one who’s been in a coma for six months._ ”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really wasn't feeling happy(?) this past few days, so I just tried to write it out? I'm sorry if this chapter feels a bit off. 
> 
> Please do tell me what you think about this one (I would really really appreciate it if you comment). You can also talk to me on twt, my handle is @sprinklednana <3


	5. i don't want to let this go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeno finds himself back where it all started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It's been so long, god, I forgot what writing feels like.
> 
> I've been so busy with uni and it's a miracle that I even came up with this after a WHOLE MONTH. Christ, I didn't even notice it's been that long. 
> 
> Thank you thank you for patiently waiting, I'm so sorry it took so long. But I promise, the next ones will be posted soon. I'll be on a break next week so more writing yey <3
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this? :-( 
> 
> I felt so detached writing this, and my sentences were barely cohesive. It worked well though, I think. It fit the theme of this chapter.

 

 

_Times Bulletin_

_February 8, 2018_

_On the 4 th of February, Saturday, Jaemin Na, son of the CEO of Na Corporations and famous actress Na Jihyo was caught in a devastating car accident. The young model was reportedly going back to the St. Alban’s dorm, where he is enrolled, when the vehicle he was in went out of control. Jaemin Na’s driver had suffered a fracture on his arm and a few other minor injuries. While Jaemin Na, who was in the backseat, suffered from broken ribs, fractured bones, and is now in an indefinite coma. _

_Even the driver, Taeil Moon, who has been working under the Na family for over 10 years had to go through investigation even against Mr. and Mrs. Na’s wishes. From the inspection of the accident, it was reportedly suspected that the machine of the vehicle was tampered with._

_The rumored sabotage of Jaemin Na’s vehicle has caused an outrage from the fans of the young model on different social media platforms, but Na Corporations and actress Na Jihyo refuses to give further comment on the subject. Na Corporations is taking care of the legal matters, while the young model is confined in the Medical City Hospital where strictly his immediate family and close friends only, including the only son of Pentagon Industries CEO Zhong, are allowed to visit._

 

_Written by: Taeyong Lee_

 

 

 

 

Jeno’s fingers still wouldn’t stop shaking, even after hours of clenching his fists, he couldn’t believe what was happening.

 

Hyuck had cried with him, _no,_ Hyuck had wailed and sobbed and shook and yelled. Like it was his first love who was stuck in a hospital. Like he was the one who had fallen in love with a ghost. Injun held them both so hard, it ached.

The raven haired boy welcomed the pain.

 

 

 

 

_“Hey, hey.” The older says, gently prying the other’s hand off his head, “You shouldn’t be out here. You’re not okay, god, your hands are so cold. Here take this.”_

_Hand in hand, Nana tip toes around the fountain as the older boy makes sure he doesn’t fall._

_Soft laughter can be heard in the gardens, and for a bizarre second, Jeno wonders if it is his._

_He doesn't remember how many time they've rounded the fountains. All he remembers is the tiredness on the back of his knees, the ache in the corners of his mouth from smiling too long, and the weight of the hand in his hold._

_The pink haired boy halts to a stop and leans in closer to the water, hand outstretched._

_He sighs as the tips of his fingers touches the cold water._

_The older boy looks at him then. Pink hair a mess, huge jacket draped across his back, long fingers extended, pretty eyelashes hitting his cheekbones. beautiful._

_If it wasn’t for the hand wrapped around his own, he’d think the boy was a dream._

_And to Jeno's surprise, the younger boy leans down a little to peck him on his cheekbone. He blanks._

_The older boy feels heat rise up to his cheeks, and like the real fool nobody except Hyuck and Renjun knows he is, he covers it up by turning his back on the younger and faces the different buildings the students of St. Alban's stay in. "So which building do you stay in again?" He scratches the back of his neck, "I'm actually in St. Benedict's, are you from there too? I could still walk you to your room if you aren't though, I'm sure it's not that-"_

_The raven haired boy turns back towards his companion, but he is faced with nothing but the moon and the stars and the trees and the plants. Pretty boy nowhere to be seen._

_There he stood, all bright eyes and pretty smiles. The raven haired boy had to pinch himself once again, just to make sure that the junior in front of him wasn’t actually glowing._

_In the remnants of his sleepy haze, the older boy thinks Nana looks like he’s underwater. Hair flowing, movements slow. He always looks like he’s covered in a thin layer of water. Always looks like he’s floating._

Hours after breaking down, Jeno wakes up in a tangle of limbs. With Injun holding his hand and a sun kissed boy sprawled on top of him. His chin wobbled, but he did not cry. Instead, he caresses the fingers intertwined with his before letting go. He drops a kiss on a bronze skinned temple. Gently, he gets out of his bed, out of their room.

 

And he ran.

 

He ran and ran and ran, raven hair a mess, and huge shirt almost eating him up.

 

His feet takes him to the garden, and nothing makes sense. There’s a dull throb in his temple, and it takes five whole minutes for him to realize that it was already dark and it was cold and he didn’t bring his glasses and he was barefoot and _what do I do what do I do what do I do._

 

Silently, Jeno sits himself on the ground, and runs his fingertips through the grass. He cries.

 

He thinks of Nana and his Sungie and his Lele.

 

He thinks of Injun and Hyuck.

 

He thinks of how much he wants to barge into the room of the pink haired boy’s friends and cry with them, hug them, tell them _it’s gonna be okay_.

 

He can’t imagine what it would be like to wake up one day with the thought of Renjun in a hospital. And Hyuck, _God,_ he will never be able to live in a world without the sun kissed boy. Not for a fucking second.

 

He thinks of Nana.

 

He thinks of a beautiful beautiful beautiful boy, who loves his friends so much. Who doesn’t look at Jeno like he’s going to inherit just about half of the country. Who doesn’t look at Jeno like he’s the king of this palace. Who just looks at Jeno like he’s Jeno. Who looks at Jeno and actually _sees_ him.

 

A beautiful boy with pretty eyes, perfect teeth and a really really bright smile. Of a beautiful boy with a pure heart. Of a beautiful boy who keeps quiet, and _understands_.

 

 

 

 

“Jeno Lee?”

 

The raven haired boy hears the younger before he sees him. He feels a lump in his throat.

 

“Jeno Lee? What’s wrong? Are you crying?”

 

The older boy can feel him coming closer, feels the other right in front of him.

 

And he sees it now, he wonders how he didn’t notice from the start. The younger boy is even paler than the last time the raven haired boy saw him. His hair almost completely white.

 

“Jeno Lee, you’re scaring me. Please answer.” The younger kneeled before him, hands coming up to his cheeks. Cold. Like he always was.

 

The older boy can’t find any words within him. He doesn’t even know where to start. Does Nana even know?

 

One beat passes. Three. Five. Seven. Jeno can’t keep up, he keeps on skipping beats and blanking and _what do I do what do I do what do I do._

 

“J-Jaemin…” The raven haired boy sobs, “Jaemin.”

 

“What’s happening Jen?” Tears well up in the pink haired boy’s eyes, “Please tell me, _please._ ”

 

“D… do you know?”

 

“What? Please tell me, I’m scared.”

 

The older boy breathes heavily, and he prays _prays_ that whatever he’s doing is right. “Jisung… Sungie and Lele. That’s Jisung Park and Chenle Zhong right? Mark’s brother and whisker dimples, right?”

 

_one. three. five_.

 

Jaemin finches slightly, like the information is physically pushing him forward.

 

“Nana… where were you before you came here? From your class? Or from your dorm? Do you even _know_ what dorm you’re from?”

 

“Jeno…” Nana lurches forward, but the older keeps kim steady with two arms around his waist. “My head—”

 

“Oh Nana,” The older boy shuts his eyes so tight. “Nana, I know it hurts, but you gotta listen to everything I have to say okay?”

 

“What’s wrong with me, Jeno?” The tears began to flow. “I—I’m scared I—”

 

“Shhh…” Jeno hushes him lightly, “I got you, okay? I won’t leave… but you gotta promise me that you’re going to be strong, okay? Can you be brave for me, Nana?”

 

The younger boy continues to cry, arms shaking, sobs coming straight from his insides.

 

_Drowning. This is what drowning feels like._

 

“Nana, please promise me.”

 

The younger boy looks into his eyes. He sees and he understands. “O-Okay.”

 

“Nana, you remember the stories about my friend Mark right? Well, Mark has a brother whose name is Jisung. Your Jisung. Mark told me that Jisung and Chenle…. they had another friend. That friend got into a really— _really_ bad car accident last February. It’s almost September now, Nana. Nana—” Jeno breathes heavily, “That friend is still in a coma.”

 

Jaemin bites his lip, and Jeno _aches._

 

“Nana… that friend was Jaemin Na. That friend is you.”

 

“ _No._ ” Jaemin shakes his head violently, balls his fists and started helplessly hitting Jeno’s shoulders. “ _No._ Stop this Jeno, it’s not funny.”

 

The older boy pulls the other closer, wraps his arms tighter and buries his head on the other’s neck. He doesn’t know how long they stay like that.

 

He mumbles, muffled by the other skin, “ _I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry._ ”

 

_A dream. Ofcourse the beautiful boy was a dream._

_one beat. three. five._

He lifts his head up and stares into the younger’s eyes.

“Jeno, I’m scared.” The pink haired boy disappears for a second. _Or Jeno just blinks. Is the boy even here? Was there ever really a boy?_ “I don’t want to go, please don’t let me go.”

 

The older boy shakes his head lightly. _heavily._ “I’m not—just, please. _Please_. Come back to us, okay?” His voice breaks. “Your Sungie. And your Lele. They’re waiting for you. We’re all waiting for you.”

 

“I don’t want to forget, what if I forget?” The pink haired boy almost whispers.

 

_What if I forget you?_ He doesn’t say it, but Jeno hears it loud and clear. The king of St. Alban’s crumble.

 

“I—I’ll make you remember, I won’t stop till you remember.” And in an even quieter voice, he pleads, “just wake up for me, okay?”

 

The image of the younger boy stutters for a second. Jeno did not blink.

 

“Jeno I feel like I’m disappearing.”

 

one beat. three. five.

 

Silently, the raven haired boy gently rests his forehead against the other’s. _careful._

 

“I just I don’t know if I’m coming back, I just—” The younger boy closes his eyes. He glows. “I love you.”

 

“ _Don’t.”_ Jeno almost growls, “Don’t say it like that—you’re coming back.”

 

Gently, Jaemin Na cups the king’s cheeks with his cold hands. “Please say it back.”

 

“I don’t have to. I’ll say it back when you wake up.”

 

“I don’t know if I—just please, Jeno Lee. I want to hear it.”

 

There’s a numbness traveling throughout the raven haired boy’s body. But he refuses to break now. He’s not going to leave the younger. He refuses to.

 

_“I love you.”_

The pink haired boy closes the gap between them. Jeno does not close his eyes. He presses his lips against the other. Strong but sweet. Gentle but insistent. Intense but careful. Like their saying _goodbye_ but also _run back to me._

 

Despite the situation, Jaemin Na smiles. Not the really really bright one, but beautiful nonetheless. “Okay. Okay… If I don’t… Tell Sungie and Lele I love them more than anything, okay? You gotta tell them that.”

 

Jeno sees, and he understands. “I’ll them while we’re waiting. And you can tell them again yourself when you come back.”

 

“Okay, Jeno Lee. _Thank you thank you thank you_.” The younger presses his lips under the older’s eyes. On the tip of his nose. His forehead. His mole. His mouth.

 

The king melts under the beautiful boy’s cold touch. “Stop saying goodbye.”

 

“I’m not.” Lying did not look good on the pink haired boy’s lips, but Jeno understands.

 

“It feels like you are.”

 

The younger gives him a shaky smile. “Close your eyes, Jeno Lee.”

 

And finally, _finally,_ Jeno closes his eyes. He’d have done anything the boy asked him to.

 

_One beat. three. five._

 

He doesn’t open his eyes, when the cold hands on his cheeks disappear.

 

The wind howls.

 

Under the moonlight, the trees and the flowers weep with him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't yell at me please :-(((
> 
> Also please do tell me what you think about this, I would really really appreciate it if you do thank you so much <3
> 
> You can also talk to me on twt, I'm @sprinklednana <3

**Author's Note:**

> Please do tell me what you think about this, all of your kudos and comments really mean so much to me! <3
> 
> You can also talk to me or ask me questions on my cc or twt, i'm @sprinklednana on both!
> 
> Thank you really for reading, I really hope you liked the first chapter! The next one will be fluffier, expect for something really cute and sweet mehehehe <3


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